These Three Words


I’ve been sitting here thinking about what to write for Black History Month. Should I express my complete and utter feelings of anger at every instance of racism I am seeing on a rise in society? Do I rant on the disrespect for everything Black like the celebrity fight of the killer of Trayvon Martin whose death still brings me to tears every time I think of him? Do I rail on Negropeans like Allen West that want to be White so bad he doesn’t deserve to be in the skin he’s in?

There is so much pain, hatred and emptiness to go around. Black History Week that became Black History Month was started by Bro. Carter D. Woodson to make us remember who we are as a people. It’s human to get mired in the hatred that has and continues to oppress us. Daily news reports of death, unemployment, lack of health care you name it we are at the very bottom or the very top of lists that prove very little has changed in this country. Especially power structure for all you Negropeans that beg to differ because you are a house nigger. Basically that scenario hasn’t change much either. House or Field we make that decision early on and live our lives accordingly, I would have been the one always running or grinding the glass for you know what.

As I get older I find the best way to deal is to love yourself and your people MORE. I don’t mean love as a way to passively go through life and take what’s given to you. I mean it as a way to elevate yourself to a level spiritually that makes you fear-LESS. See racism only works when you live in fear. If you fear the White Man he will always control you and you will never be FREE. A good example to me is this past superbowl. The great white hope Peyton Manning was the man of the hour. He had the best offense in the game. They were supposed to win. But their asses got handed to them. Why? Those young brothers wanted it and did not let the world tell then any different. The young quarterback thanked God after the game. If He knows his creator and is the brains behind the plays, Sherman and the others know who they are and whose they are and they shut it down. They love the game and they loved each other. Period.

The lesson to me is when we love ourselves enough to be fearless in our personal lives and live up to our greatest potential, when we express that love to each other there is no racist that can hold us back. The Jig is up and that’s what white supremacy is afraid of. When you are no longer afraid to be who you are their time is up. These Three Words. Saying and believing it of yourself and your people will give you the strength to fight the fight, build your community, spend your money wisely, pool your resources and create strong families.

I LOVE YOU! Happy Black Ourstory Month and Make it Count!


I Love Being Black


I got up this morning just really loving my Blackness. More than usual. LOL. I had dry twisted my hair so I love the way my hair waves up. Then  when I was putting on my shea butter I was like damn I have nice pretty brown skin. I made an Egyptian Eye makeup look too. Wow, Egyptians, builder of the Pyramids were Black and African just like me. Ok, the original name of the motherland was Alkebulan or the Egyptian word for motherland was Afri-uka. But the Romans used the name of one of their generals, Scipio Africanus to rename the continent. See we can never be left alone. White folks is always hating but imitating.

As I left the gym I saw this young brother quarterback, Russel Wilson on the flat screen. He’s kicking ass. Racists always thought a Black man didn’t have the intellect to be a QB. No what I say is that’s the only position they were trying to hold on to but that will soon be history. They know when we are given an opportunity we are always the best. That’s not racist on my part just the truth. That is the key to understanding racism. Fear.

Love your BLACK self. If we were not so good, why do white supremacists try so hard to hold you down and hold you back. Despite the fact that we were stripped of everything we still have a connection to our culture, our language our SWAG. Look at the influence of our music, art, style, language, inventions, creativity and bottom line the jump we gave this country of 500 years of free labor. Our ROI, return on investment, has been minimal at best and it’s time that changed.

When I see red, black, green and yellow I feel the connection. There is nothing I can’t do and no amount of racism can take my love for myself and my people away. Never let another human’s limited view be the reason why you limit yourself. White folks, your mama, your man, your sibling, your teacher, your employer, your friends, your church, NOBODY can stop you from being you. Can’t nobody do like we do! Sonia Sanchez said it best, We a BaddDDD People. Dare to love your BLACK self in all your authenticity. 

NO Limits

no limitsBoom. Pow. Yes Maam, plus model Tiffany Banks poses with former NFL Player Ray Edwards. Now why some folks gotta say its controversial. Nothing but some ass showing a little bit. No what’s controversial is any woman that’s thick and curvy or what some would say are “fat” are not supposed to be seen as beautiful and sexy plain and simple. But we are! I’m taking this one personal because it’s happened to me all my life. I’ve always been a big girl but I’m the skinniest fat chick you will ever meet. Just ask my friends. I’ve gone through my personal ish but when it all boils down this is no dress rehearsal for life and I am living mine with more bounce to the ounce. I have always attracted big fine brothers just like this and skinny chicks always think they can walk by and his eyes will wonder. Ahhhh. NOT. Don’t nobody want a bone but a dog and he’s going to bury it because when a big woman moves her bones a little woman will lose her home!

See men like confidence just like women do. Gerald Levert, God bless his soul, was a big man but he had swagger and could dress his ass off and could get any woman he wanted. It’s all about confidence and personality and swagger. I have been on a date with a fine man and a woman one time walked up an said why be with her when you could have this. I didn’t have to say a word because the brother checked her so hard and said he was already with the woman he wanted. Yall know I was grinning and that bitch better be glad I was on good behavior or I would have beat her down with my pump! The nerve. See believe it or not there are men that prefer big boobs, butts, thighs, tummies you name it and it’s not a twisted fetish either. Some men don’t like feeling a pelvic bone hitting theirs. The bottom line is you have to love yourself.

It’s spectacular being pretty, happy and full. I know some of you skinny heifers are mad that I got a fine man and can still eat all the chicken and cake I want. Don’t hate, go eat a sandwich. Oh by the way I can meet you on the eliptical machine too because I may be big but I go to the gym 6 days a week! I eat healthy and sometimes I don’t and I ain’t worrying about it. I have too much to do than to spend a second of my time worry about what somebody else thinks. So tell the world Tiffany Banks how Big Girls get it in too.

All the men that love a thick woman, holla at yo girl! Leave a comment. Peace and Blessings!bustier1

Shine Bright Like a Diamond

After the Umbrella song I haven’t paid much attention to Rihanna’s music until I came across her newest song Diamond. It’s just something about it that caught me a little off guard and stuck in my heart. Shine bright like a diamond. The chorus she repeats over and over and it really touched me.

Many of you that have followed me or read my first book, Sistahs N SistahHood know I was molested when I was six years old. I can speak about it because every time I do I hope to help someone else and it heals me as well. Most women have suffered sexual abuse in some way, shape or form and facing it liberates you. It’s easier said than done of course but you have to do the work to live your life more abundantly. Any kind of abuse any of us have suffered at the hand of strangers, family or the person we love, can stunt our growth and really keep us from living. The pain can dull our senses to the point we don’t even know what living or loving even feels like. I’ve been there.

Diamonds come from the Greek word for unbreakable. High pressure and time make it the hardest of stones. Life makes us all diamonds. But how we become precisely cut and refined is up to each of us.
The good news is changing your life only takes a decision to do so. Listening to Rihanna’s song today reminded me that we were put here to shine like a diamond in the sky no matter what. Nothing and no one should ever take that from you! Forgive. Love Life and Self because there is nothing else. This is not a dress rehearsal. This is your life NOW. The Bible says that weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning. Take the pain and make a decision to leave it behind because you have to Shine Like a Diamond.